


We Only Had Volleyball?

by kiwiamandagal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 20:58:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4277700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiamandagal/pseuds/kiwiamandagal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An injury forces Kageyama out of the team for the rest of the season..... his last season at High School.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also posted on Wattpad

Kageyama sighed, as he collapsed on to his bed feeling sorry for himself. His room reflecting his mood, with the spaces on the wall that were a different shade, as the posters that had once hung there now gone. It made his room look empty, hollow just like he felt inside. Memories that they stirred up relegated to the rubbish bin in attempt to remove the pain they wracked on his body. It had now been two months since he had last spoken to Hinata, and he was missing the crazy antics of the orange haired idiot. He would often catch himself glancing over at the door way, as if he expected him to come bouncing through it, calling his name, his face bright and cheerful as always. It had been far too long since he had held him tight or ran his hands through the orange mop of hair, which felt so soft and silky as it glided between his fingers as they kissed. It wasn't as though it was their first fight, but they had never been like this as they had always made up quickly. But this time was different. This fight was unlike the others, more one sided and......

"It's all my fault......this time," Kageyama muttered angrily to himself, as he recalled the words he had said, that had made Hinata disappear from his side. The words that he had thrown at him in anger. An anger that was not directed at Hinata, not caused by anything that he had done. But he had worn the brunt of it, the tirade of words that were driven by Kageyama's frustrations.

"Leave me alone! You don't understand how I feel. Just...just go away and don't come back!" Kageyama had shouted at him, as Hinata just stood there, his face stained with tears. Kageyama was too self-absorbed with his own complex emotions, to even think to chase after him. To apologise, for those words he now deeply regretted. He could still see Hinata's face that smiled such a lonely smile, as he fled from Kageyama's side, etched forever into his mind. It haunted him, now that his anger that he had directed at Hinata, subsided.

"I wish I could take back those words..... t-to tell him, I'm sorry..." he mumbled to himself as he rolled over on to his side to face the wall. A sharp pain shooting down his arm, causing him to wince. A reminder of why he had been so angry, so frustrated in the first place ....... and why a part of him still was. He rubbed his injured shoulder, as anger washed over him, reminding him of his own foolishness, all over again. The injury had cost him what was left of the volleyball season, in what was his last year of high school. Their last season playing together.

"It has probably cost me.... a LOT more than volleyball," his voice barely audible, as Hinata's tear stained face with its lonely smile, flashed through his mind once more.


	2. Chapter 2

The pain had started during the Inter High's, just a dull ache that would occasionally shoot down his arm. It didn't happen all the time, so Kageyama had simply dismissed it and never regarded it has anything serious. He didn't feel it warranted telling anyone, but did warm up his shoulder a bit more than normal, just in case before matches. He carefully did it while no one was watching, not wanting draw attention to himself, to his shoulder and the possibility of something being wrong. He didn't want to face the prospect of being made to sit out games......only he could be Hinata's setter. By the end of the tournament it had become more noticeable, especially after a game where they had used several quick attacks, but he still thought nothing of it and continued to ignore it, convincing himself it was nothing more than he was just a little tired.

Despite his attempts to ignore it, the pain only got worse and his mistakes began to multiply. Kageyama's temper also began to flare, as he blamed everything on those around him. Not even Hinata could escape his sharp tongue, but he never complained once, just continuing to flash that brilliant smile like always. His outbursts increased as the pain started be almost continuous, scaring the first years who had never seen him like this.

"Looks like the King has returned," exclaimed Tsukishima, exasperated after another one of Kageyama's outbursts, while he watched Yamaguchi deal with the aftermath. Shaking his head, at the thought of Kageyama's arrogant ways returning. Kageyama just scowled at him in response. No longer caring about anybody else's opinions. He was still in denial about just how serious the pain in his shoulder might be. The pain that would shoot down his arm, the fingers that would go numb, became normal to feel as he continued to pretend nothing was wrong. The whole team was now on edge, as they headed towards the two week training camp over summer.

Mistakes being made by Kageyama were becoming more and more obvious to those around him, and could no longer be blamed on other members of the team. It was also becoming increasingly difficult for him to lift his arm above his head without excruciating pain, making the setting of balls almost impossible, but he continued to press on....ignoring it. Finally his arm just stopped moving, as Kageyama failed to set the ball during practice. Refusing to budge, to reach the ball coming his way. His teammates were stunned. The gym went quiet except for the sound of a ball as it hit the floor, bouncing, bouncing before rolling away. It joined by the wails of agony that poured from Kageyama as he dropped to the floor, clutching at his shoulder. The pain had surged through his body, screaming at him as he tried to make the arm that wouldn't budge move. As the tears rolled down his face uncontrollably, his teammates and the coaches rushed to his side, their concern at the unfolding event, evident on their faces. Hinata was the first to get him, throwing his arms around him and hugging him tight. Oblivious to their teammates who were surrounding them, Hinata in a panicked voice asked if he could kiss it better, while tears streamed down his face, as he buried himself into Kageyama's chest.


	3. Chapter 3

"It hurts, it hurts!" Kageyama screamed inside his head. He wanted to scream it out loud, but his voice wouldn't come. The pain was excruciating, like someone had torn apart his arm from the shoulder. "Maybe they have," he thought, "I can't wriggle my fingers...... why can't I wriggle my fingers?"

"Why are you all staring at me......i-i-idiots.....Why won't someone make the pain stop...... stop looking at me like that.....why do you look so sad?" as Kageyama tried to make sense of what was going on, amidst the turmoil and pain. "Who is making that noise....it sounds like someone is crying..... Can't you tell them to shut up.....I don't want to listen to it anymore....." then it dawned on him, he was the one making that noise, he was the one crying. That it was his anguish he could hear echoing around the silent gym.

Before he could register what was going on, Coach Ukai had bundled him into his car, while Takada sensei rang his parents as they headed for the hospital. The news wasn't good. The Doctor informed them, that Kageyama would have to sit out the rest of the season if his shoulder was going to completely heal and if more invasive treatment was to be avoided. If he had gotten his injured shoulder treated when the pain first started, it would only have been a simple Bursitis, but his decision to continue to play, had seen it develop into something more serious, the doctor continued to tell them. What Kageyama had now was closer to a condition called Shoulder Impingement, which is why he couldn't move his arm the way he wanted. If it had been treated at the early stages, he may have gotten away with four weeks rest, but that was no longer an option. Coach Ukai and Takada sensei both sat there shaking their heads, trying to take in the information that they were hearing. Both of them were annoyed that they hadn't been able to notice that was something was wrong........sooner. When they looked back, they could see that all the signs were, but had been so easily convinced by Kageyama that it had been nothing. For Coach Ukai it was particular difficult...... he should of known, he knew what it was like to play as a setter, he knew what injuries could occur. That this was going to be a serious blow to the team morale, was something they could both agree on.

To Kageyama the Doctor, may as well have said the world was ending, in a way Kageyama's world was ending. Volleyball had been a large part of his life since middle school, and he had scholarships to college riding on his performance during the rest of the season....... well they would all be in doubt now. At the time he barely registered anything the Doctor said after the words 'can't play' were uttered, zoning out in disbelief. He was in shock, unable to express any emotion to the news. Not anger, not sadness. They would hit him soon enough.....


	4. Chapter 4

The first few weeks back at school, since his injury occured, were hard. His shoulder still ached and it was hard to do anything with the amount of strapping he had to endure, not to mention how hot it made him feel. His precious break times with Hinata were constantly interrupted, as streams of students kept coming up to share their opinions on his injury. To say how sorry they were to hear he was hurt, and muttering to themselves about the volleyball teams chances at winning tournaments, now that he wasn't able to play. They thought he couldn't hear them, as the whispered their doubts, burdening more guilt upon him about his own stupidity that got him injured. It was beginning to really get on his nerves. These were the few precious minutes he got to spend alone with Hinata outside of Volleyball practice, and he didn't even have that. Not now that he couldn't be a part of the team.

He had been along to one practice, at Hinata's insistence, but he had hated it. Just walking into the gym was hard. The smell of the place brought forth memories and guilt, with every whiff of volleyballs, sweat and cooling spray, as it lingered in the air around him, making him frustrated as he thought he no longer felt like belonged here. He didn't belong in this world of volleyball anymore, as if it had just abandoned him now that he was broken. Just sitting there, not being able to do anything while watching everyone else play was like a torture, no matter how well meaning the suggestion might have been. He just sat there, getting angrier and angrier, as his teammates just tip toed around him, afraid that he might still snap at them and avoided asking him about his shoulder. 'Who were they kidding,' he thought. 'I know they want to ask,' no longer amused at how the danced around the issue. He could see them glancing at it, when they thought he wasn't looking. Those looks of pity, that they threw his way, thinly disguising the disgust and anger they felt at him amongst layers of concern. That wasn't the worst thing for Kageyama. What had made the experience so infuriating was having to watch someone else play his position as setter, to see someone else setting the balls up high for Hinata. It was his job, no one else was allowed to do it. Hinata belonged to no one but him. He couldn't just watch, as the jealousy he was feeling burned him up inside, while he got further depressed about how the situation had arisen out of his own stupidity. It wasn't fair on the other setter, he decided, to have him constantly sitting on the side lines, glaring at him with eyes that burned with jealousy, with envy, so he didn't go back. No matter how much Hinata begged, he refused to set foot back in that gym, even if that meant he had to sacrifice walking home with Hinata afterwards, something they had done even before their current relationship had begun. He could tell that Hinata was disappointed at his decision, but he was stubborn. Refusing to give into Hinata's demands, no matter how much he whined about it. To go back was like being constantly slapped in the face with the reality of his own mistakes. He just didn't want to deal with that day after day. Kageyama couldn't see past the emotions raging in his own mind, to see how much Hinata was hurting too.

It didn't take long for the distance between Kageyama and his teammates....former teammates, to grow. He began to ignore the messages they sent, until finally they stopped flashing on his phone. He even subconsciously, began to pull away from Hinata, finding excuses not to have lunch together, hiding someplace he couldn't be found. Excuses turned into cancelled promises and once he began with them, the easier it become to have them, slide off his tongue. Eventually they hardly spent any time together at all, not that Kageyama noticed. Those lunch breaks he had zealously fought for so that he could be alone with Hinata, to sit and listen to his voice as it prattled about volleyball and just relax.....evaporated. He knew deep down that he was running away, but he didn't care, just wanting to be away from everything that reminded of volleyball. Avoiding everything and everyone that still connected him to the sport he loved, but could no longer play, even if that meant pushing Hinata away too. He couldn't see the consequences of his actions, too caught up in the hurt that he was feeling right now, to see how he was hurting everyone else around him.

Hinata soon got frustrated with Kageyama's behaviour. Not liking being pushed away, or the way Kageyama was clamming up and not talking about anything to him anymore, not even the mundane everyday stuff. It wasn't just their teammates who were struggling to get replies to messages, even Hinata at times was ignored by Kageyama, despite wanting to be his support, his shoulder to lean on. Kageyama kept pushing him away every time he tried to offer his support, till finally Hinata began to push back, getting sick of the whole ordeal, and the hurt it was causing him. He confronted Kageyama, demanding that he tell him what was going inside that stupid head of his. It was to no avail, Kageyama, just stood there staring straight ahead, not listening as Hinata spoke. His brows become more furrowed, his eyes glazing over in anger as he was forced to endure listening to Hinata prattle on about how everyone was worried about him, how they all cared and wanted to help. That they missed his presence at volleyball practice. It was too much for Kageyama, he had had enough of their words, their concern. 'How could they know how he was feeling' he thought angrily, as words that he would latter regret just tumbled out of his mouth, aiming them straight at Hinata.

From then on, he never saw Hinata again. He never sought Kageyama out at lunchtimes, or sent him messages. All that had previously still kept them connected was broken and yet Kageyama couldn't see it. Caught up in his own anger, despair and frustration. He didn't see the need to apologise or that he had done anything that warranted an apology. He didn't chase after Hinata, but instead his disappearance from his side just added further fuel to the dark thoughts that lingered in Kageyama's mind. 'He was replaceable, not just on the volleyball court. Something that was broken and easily discarded......'


	5. Chapter 5

It had taken two months for Kageyama to realise the error of his ways, to understand the damage that he had done to his and Hinata's relationship. If they still had a relationship. This had lead him to his current state of self-loathing and despair. Tears slipped silently down his face, as he thought about how much hurt he had caused Hinata. How Hinata's face, which usually glowed like the sun with its smile, looked like the sky on a cloudy day at that time and he was the stupid idiot who put the clouds there. He wouldn't be surprised if had ruined everything. That the seemingly unbreakable bond between them, had been snapped by his own hands, with his own words and he didn't know how to begin to put it back together.

He thought about ringing Hinata, when he had finally come back to his senses, but was too afraid that his call would be ignored, just like all those calls and messages of Hinata's that he had ignored. He wanted to beg for forgiveness, but was too afraid that it wouldn't be given. Wracked with guilt, at the words he had uttered, but too scared to hear the words that might come back to him, he continued to put it off. The longer he hesitated the harder it became to do it.

"I guess I'm just running away.... Again," he said quietly to himself, burying his head into his pillow to wipe away the tears that had pooled in his eyes. He knew he was being a coward and he was ashamed of it. The tears continued to slide down Kageyama's face leaving wet patches on the blankets beneath him, while he continued to wrestle with his lack of courage to make that call. Just one call, wouldn't fix everything, but it would be a start...he hoped. Preoccupied with the desire to make amends and his thoughts on how to make it happen, he never heard the door to his room slowly open. He didn't know that someone had even entered his room, until he felt his bed dip beside him as someone sat down and a hand came to rest upon his hip.

"Don't turn round, Kageyama," a quiet voice, tinged with sadness pleaded. "Please don't speak either. I've got something I want to say....and then I-I'll leave again." The voice didn't sound steady, as if the speaker was on the verge of tears and the hand that gentle rested upon Kageyama's hip, trembled. The sound and touch of someone so familiar.

"Why was Hinata here?" Kageyama thought, panicking. He desperately wanted to roll over, to see his face and confirm that he really was here and to make sure that this wasn't a dream. He wanted to bury his head in Hinata's chest, wrap his arms around him, squeeze him tight and never let go as he begged him for forgiveness, but he couldn't. Just as Hinata requested, he stayed still, stayed silent, as he waited for Hinata to speak. He was frightened. Frightened of what words might fall from Hinata's lips, and had to bite his lip to stop it from trembling.

"I've been thinking...." his voice came hesitantly. "Well for the last two months all I've done is think. Thinking about you....about me.....about us," his voice wavering, and yet he kept going. "I don't know how you think of us, how you see our relationship, but I'm just going to make assumptions. You didn't chase me that day, never sought me out, tried to speak to me or even considered apologising for those words, those words that hurt me..... and they really hurt, Kageyama," he paused, the hand on Kageyama's hip clenched as if to hide just how much it was shaking now. Kageyama had clenched his eyes tight, trying to hold back the tears that threatening to fall out and desperately held back the anguished cries he wanted to unleash. These were not the words he wanted to hear, and yet they continued to come.

"I'm guessing that volleyball was the only thing that bound us together, that kept us connected...... and that without it you no longer share the same feelings any more about me.... That I feel for you....."

"No! No! That's not true!" Kageyama screamed in his mind, as he tried to keep his body from being wracked with guilt, as his heart began to break.

".....what I'm trying to say Kageyama is......that we, we are over..... I can't continue the way things are now.... I l-love...you....but it's not enough."

As Hinata stood up to leave, Kageyama could no longer hold back, reaching up and grabbing at Hinata's hand to try and stop him from leaving. He was panicking, disbelieving that everything was now gone. Tears were streaming down both their faces, as they looked at each other.

"Don't go! P-p-p-lease don't go, don't leave me," he spluttered between tears, desperate to keep Hinata from leaving. "P-p-p-please..... I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he begged over and over, as Hinata tugged at his hand until it was free from Kageyama's grasp and gave him a sad smile.

"Goodbye...Kageyama," he uttered as he disappeared out the door, leaving a distraught Kageyama to come to terms with all that had just happened. His room echoing with the sound of his heart, as it broke into pieces.


	6. Chapter 6

Hinata had to fight hard with himself, not to give in when he saw Kageyama sitting in front of him begging, the desperation shining brightly in his eyes. He had to stop himself from wrapping him up in a big hug, and whisper 'It's alright. I forgive you. I'm not going anywhere.' He knew that he couldn't, that it wasn't the right thing to do, regardless of how much it tore him up inside.

He was hurting. He had been for the last two months since Kageyama had stood there, and taken all his frustrations out on Hinata. Those words that were tinged with so much anger, and yet, though they weren't meant for Hinata, but it was at him they had been directed towards, so furiously. It wasn't just the words that hurt, but also his actions. Kageyama hadn't chased after him, hadn't sought him out in the weeks after, or even felt the need to apologise to him. Kageyama had simply slipped away without a word, without even glancing back, leaving Hinata unsure of what their relationship was anymore. In desperation he had decided that for himself, choosing to make a clean break......for the sake of his own heart.

After leaving Kageyama's, he had run down the street till he hit the main road. Stopping, he wiped the tears away from his eyes and glanced back towards Kageyama's house, a part of him hoping that he could see him chasing after him. Disappointedly he shook his mop of orange hair as he noted that Kageyama was nowhere to be seen. He laughed at his own stupidity, at thinking that this time would be any different to last time. No matter how much he had begged him not to leave, there was no way that he would chase after him and yet despite this he checked over his shoulder, just one more time as that tiny glimmer of hope burned within his chest, before turning and running towards the school gym. By the time he hit practice, he hoped that his eyes didn't look so puffy or red, but it would be hard for anyone not to notice that he had been crying, he just hoped that they wouldn't ask why. Whether the decision he had made was the right one or not......only time would tell.


	7. Chapter 7

Kageyama bolted upright, staring at the hand that had been holding on to Hinata's, his warmth still lingering there. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, he scrambled off his bed in a panic. His mind was a mess, all rationality disappeared and he acted unlike his usual composed self. He needed to chase after Hinata. He needed to stop him. Grab hold of him and not let go.

"Why did I let go? Was Hinata seriously breaking up with me?" he thought disbelieving the words that had been uttered from a face that dripped with tears. Desperate, didn't begin to describe the emotions that were tumbling around inside him. His stomach was all fluttery, he felt sick and his chest ached more than his shoulder, as he ran out of the house. So panic driven was his leaving, he didn't stop long enough to even grab shoes, heading off down the road barefoot. He was determined that this time would be different, that he wasn't going to make the same mistake as last time. This time he would regret nothing.

Running down the road, Kageyama could just see a flash of orange in the distance as it turned onto the main road. It didn't take long for him to realise the direction Hinata was taking and why.

"There's volleyball practice...on today," he muttered, while breathing heavily, two months since he had last attended practice, was taking its toll. He tried to keep a good pace, desperate to catch Hinata before he reached the gym, but the going was tough. Not only was he seriously out of shape, but he was running bare foot along a road covered in small stones, which jabbed into his feet, cutting and scraping them as he went along. His shoulder also was not making it easy. Still heavily strapped, its lack of movement upset his rhythm, and it screamed in pain with every jarring footstep he took. Kageyama, didn't care, gritting his teeth as he focused on his goal......getting to Hinata before he got to practice.

He quickly realised he wasn't going to make it. That he wasn't going to be able to catch up to Hinata, before he got to the school gym, sending fresh worries through his already stressed mind. He didn't want to wait till after practice to talk to him, the problem was too big to wait until then, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to interrupt practice either and air their problems out in front of everyone.

"Argh!!" he shouted in frustration tinged with pain. He just didn't know what to do, beyond the fact that he need to sort it today or risk losing Hinata for good.

..................................

In front of the closed gym doors an anxious Kageyama stood, his hand trembled as it hovered over the door handles, worrying over whether to go in or not. He could hear the sounds of volleyballs being hit, the yells of his teammates as they practised inside the gym. Sounds that brought back memories, reminders of what he couldn't do, no longer bringing anger, but sadness to his mind and he almost turned tail then, like the coward he felt he was. He could hear the sounds of Hinata laughing happily, despite the tears he had shed only moments ago. The sound sent dark thoughts swirling around in Kageyama's mind once more, that he was easily replaced. The throbbing of his blistered, battered feet, brought him back to his senses. Dismissing the thoughts from his mind as he remembered, he hadn't ran all this way barefoot, to turn away now.

Taking a deep breath, he grabbed hold of the doors and pushed his way into the gym.


	8. Chapter 8

Everyone stopped and stared, as they saw who had entered the gym. Balls that were supposed to be spiked, dropped to the floor on the wrong side of the net, as if they too were surprised to see him here. The only person who didn't turn and look, was Hinata. His back remained facing the doors and Kageyama, his body tensing up, hands clenched at his side. He didn't know whether to be relieved that Kageyama had chased after him this time, or to be angry that in chasing him down, the resolve that he had made earlier, began to shake.

Kageyama could see his teammates shocked expressions on their faces, watching as it changed to one of surprise as they noted his dishevelled appearance. He stood there in an old tattered t-shirt and baggy sweatpants, with feet that were dirty and bleeding. It was obvious to all who were looking, that he had rushed here, for whatever reason, as they all turned to stare at Hinata.

"Aaah, excuse me," he puffed, still trying to catch his breath. "Oi Hinata. We need to talk!" his hands trembling as he held on to the door, frightened of just what might happen next. How Hinata was going to react.

"I-I've said all I want to say," as tears slid down Hinata's face for all to see, while his fist clenched so tight by his side, that his fingers were digging into his palms.

An awkward silence descended on the gym, as the other in the team just switching their gaze between the two, not knowing what to say, what to do or just what had led to this situation unfolding before them. It was Tsukishima, who finally broke the painful silence, as Yamaguchi looked at him pleadingly to do so.

"Tch," he clicked his tongue, while wandering over to Hinata and grabbing him by his shirt. He dragged him by the collar over to where Kageyama stood at the door.

"I don't know what you two blockheads are fighting about now.....but your CAPTAIN," turning to glare at Yamaguchi, "has requested you take it elsewhere!" he shouted as he shoved both of them out the door, shutting it loudly behind them.

"But Tsukishima....It's practice time...Let me in," Hinata pleaded, banging on the door that had been locked to stop him getting back in.

Tsukishima, slowly unlocked the door, opening it a crack, his face not hiding the annoyance that he felt towards them both.

"You are not in a fit state for practice, with your eyes as puffy as they are now, and you," as he turned his attention to Kageyama, glaring at him as he spoke, "...stop being such an Idiot King and freakin talk to him," he said exasperatedly. He really didn't want to deal with their lovers quarrel, shutting the door once more.

"And you..." pointing at Yamaguchi, "...are the captain, so why did I have to deal with it," Tsukishima asked, despite knowing how pointless the question was.

"Thanks Tsukki," Yamaguchi said while smiling sweetly, before whispering in Tsukishima's ear, "I'll thank you properly later."

Tsukishima blushed, while glaring at him for being so brazen here of all places. He wasn't really angry.....like everyone here, he was also worried about the two blockheads.....not that he would ever admit it.


	9. Chapter 9

"I-I've got nothing left to say," an unimpressed Hinata said, not happy about being kicked out of practice because of Kageyama. He had his back facing him, so that Kageyama couldn't see the secretly pleased look that had found its way onto Hinata's face. He couldn't believe that this time, Kageyama had actually chased after him, shaking his earlier resolve even more.

'Maybe getting advice from Tanaka and Noya, hadn't been such a bad idea, after all,' he thought, as he tried desperately to keep the smile from his face. Regardless, he was still angry at the way Kageyama had selfishly ignored him over the last two month and hadn't thought an apology was warranted for those words he had thrown at him. Sneakily, he glanced over his shoulder at Kageyama, who was staring at the ground, noting his dishevelled appearance. Hinata could see, just how desperately he had run after him. A quick glance at his battered feet, dirty, bleeding and scuffed, almost made him feel guilty....almost.

Kageyama was beginning to breathe more normally, no longer puffing raggedly now that he had stopped running. He could feel the ache in his shoulder once more as it competed with the pain that was coming from his feet, battered and filthy in their unshod state. Slowly he raised his head to look at Hinata, but he could only see his back that was angrily shaking. He could see from the way his muscles were tensed under his sports gear, and the tightly clenched fists that he held by his side, how stressed and anxious Hinata was.

"Tsukishima....didn't hurt you, did he?" he asked in a quiet voice that reeked of anger, unhappy at the way Tsukishima had manhandled them both out the door.

"Uh, Uh," came Hinata's reply as he shook his head, still refusing to turn round to face him, much to Kageyama's dismay.

"Good," Kageyama uttered as his body relaxed and the thought of punching Tsukishima drifted out of his mind. He ran his hand through his messy hair, trying to hide how uncomfortable and flustered the current situation was making him, before speaking once more.

"I-I ah know that you've s-s-said all you w-w-want to say," he spluttered, trying to get the words he wanted to say out. "B-b-but, I haven't s-s-said, what I need to say yet!"

He hesitated for a moment, as he lifted his face to see how Hinata, who had continued to stand with his back to him hands clenched firmly by his side, was reacting. This time Kageyama kept all his attention focused on Hinata, as he began to get everything off his chest.

"I-I'm s-sorry......I'm s-sorry for the way I acted, for what I said," his voice catching in the back of his throat, as he spoke. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he repeated over and over again, hoping that his apology was getting through. His voice was straining, with the emotions that weighed heavily upon it, struggling to keep the tears that pooled in his eyes from falling.

Hinata turned slowly to look at Kageyama. He could tell from his expressions, the look in his eyes and the sound of his voice, that the words were sincere. He knew how hard it was for Kageyama to stand there and apologise. He was not one to admit his failings readily or to express his feelings willingly, they were usually hidden behind embarrassed expressions and a litany of insults. Kageyama was afraid of getting hurt and he knew that, but so was Hinata.....and Kageyama had really hurt him. No matter how genuine those words were, Hinata didn't feel satisfied. He didn't know if the uttering of those simple phrases, could make up for the hurt he had suffered, the loneliness he had felt. He wanted more, needed more.

Kageyama could see that his feelings were getting across, and that his words were being accepted as being genuine, and yet a sad look still remained upon Hinata's face. A smile may have appeared slightly, but it was empty, his eyes weren't smiling. His eyes still had the look of one who was still hurting, still lonely.....still sad. His words were not enough, to remove the rain clouds and return the sun to Hinata's face. He needed to express himself more, to lay it all out in front of Hinata, to leave no regrets behind. He didn't have anything left to lose, and now was not the time to be a coward.

"I-I-I-I," he began to stutter, as he struggled to get the words off his tongue. "I-I-I-I l-l-love....you," he finally squeezed out, his face red with embarrassment at having uttered such words in very public place. He had bared his everything to Hinata, his heart was lying on the ground in front of him.

"Hmm, I didn't hear you," Hinata teased, wishing to hear those words once more, words that Kageyama had never uttered, at least not without an insult to cover them. His face remained calm, confusing Kageyama at the lack of reaction to the words he had struggled so desperately to speak.

"I LOVE YOU," he shouted, surprising himself and Hinata.

Kageyama's eyes had been squeezed tight, as those words had left his lips, and stayed that way as he waited for Hinata's response, too scared to look. Too scared to see if the same expressionless face remained. He was forced to open them quickly, as a loud noise erupted from the gym, Tsukishima bursting out the doors, his face clearly showing how livid he was at them having interrupted practice again.

"Would you two keep your lovey doveyness at home!" he reprimanded them loudly. Scowling at them both, looking like he was trying to decide which one he would throw the volleyball he held, at first if only Yamaguchi would let him.

The rest of the team standing behind him, was trying desperately not to burst out laughing at the scene playing out before them. Kageyama's face went beet red, once he realised that everyone, not just Hinata, had heard his confession of love that he had struggled so hard to say. Even Hinata was struggling to hold back laughter at the absurdity of it all, causing Kageyama to wonder just how Hinata had viewed his words after all.....did he not feel the same? Had he not uttered those some words, moments before, or had Hinata never truly meant them? Doubts about everything began to form in Kageyama's mind, egged on by his frustration and embarrassment at the scene that had just unfolded.

"I'm going home i-i-idiot," he muttered loudly as he began to storm off. Embarrassed that everyone had heard, and infuriated by the reaction of Hinata to his heartfelt words. His chest was beginning to ache, like it had never ached before, as he doubted how Hinata had truly felt about him. The problem he had hoped to resolve, had not been, if anything it felt like it had gotten worse and he no longer knew what to do. At a loss, he took one final gamble as he began to walk away from the gym. He stopped and turned to look straight at Hinata, making sure that his gaze was had his sole attention.

"Oi, Hinata....are we still breaking up?" he asked loudly, no longer caring if his teammates heard, as they stood there with their mouths gaping in shock. The seriousness of the situation finally sinking in. He waited a few seconds, what felt like the longest seconds of his life, staring at Hinata, hoping for a response, any response. But none came, as Hinata still stood there in silence, not even his body could speak the words that Kageyama had wished to hear. Not waiting any longer, he turned away from Hinata and headed quickly for home, hoping he would get there before the tears he had been so desperately holding back began to fall. The gut wrenching realisation that everything was now gone was too much for Kageyama to bare, as he left no longer able to stop his body from shaking or the screaming pain that came from his chest, making him forget the pain in his injured shoulder and battered feet.

"I guess that's your answer," he muttered quietly under his breath, running away from everyone, and not looking back.

...........................................................

Hinata knew that if he didn't chase after Kageyama now, right this instant, then it really would be over. No going back. Broken beyond repair. He really did want to stay together with Kageyama, didn't he? His mind was screaming at him 'run after him you fool' and yet his body wouldn't move. His feet rooted to the spot. He wanted to shout out 'I don't want to break up with you', but the words wouldn't come. Why was he letting Kageyama walk away? Why were the words he wanted to say not being said? Why? Why? Hinata's mind screamed, while the tears left warm trails down his cheeks. Everything had gone so wrong.....Why?

"Ah you stupid idiot," Tsukishima yelled at him, taking a swipe at him. The only reason his fist hadn't landed squarely on his calm face, was due to the quick thinking of Yamaguchi. Yamaguchi was using all his strength to hold the angry Tsukishima, back though he shared the boy's sentiments, adding his pleas to the chorus of voices calling for him to chase after Kageyama.

It was to no avail. Hinata's body, his voice, remained unmoving. The damage was done, as Kageyama had taken his silence as an acceptance of their breaking up, and now not even his lonely back could be seen from where he stood. The rest of the team just stood there, their mouths agape at the events that had unfolded before them, struggling to process everything. No one knew what to do, feeling as helpless as they did when Kageyama had sat injured and crying on the gym floor all those months ago. They could only watch as one ran away, after believing his heartfelt words had been rejected, heart broken and angry. The other, who was just as heart broken, and just stood there and watched him go, frozen in place. When he finally started moving, it was only his shoulders, as they shook with the weight of the tears that fell from his eyes. No one could begin to fathom just how the two of them had ended up in a place like this.

 

NOTES

It will get better from here.....


	10. Chapter 10

Cherry blossoms fluttered about, flung around by the cool wind, as Kageyama stood outside the entrance to the W University Dormitory, feeling rather hesitant. His injury had cost him all the scholarships he had been offered and with all the other drama that had accompanied his injury – much of it self-inflicted – he had chosen to apply outside of the district. As far out of the district as he could. He was one of the last to arrive at the dorm, which was painfully filled with mostly sports scholarship students who had arrived earlier in the week. Kageyama felt odd being the only one still lugging suitcases about, as he headed up the flight of stairs that would bring him to the room he was to share, hoping that his roommate wouldn't be too annoying.

He may no longer have the scholarships that he had so stupidly lost, through his own stubbornness, but in the past few months he had come to realise that he was not yet willing to give up on playing volleyball. He had chosen this university, as it had a strong history with the sport.....and he could easily pass the entrance exam. Now that his shoulder had healed, the doctors giving the ok to play only weeks before, he was looking forward to getting back on the court, to feel the ball as it touched his fingers. His body wasn't so willing. The months of inactivity due to his injury and then all the studying for exams, had left him precious time to exercise, and his fitness level was woefully inadequate, and his body would complain bitterly as he pushed his muscles relentless to move about the court. It would hurt, but it was a hurt he was looking forward to with relish.

"Excuse me, I'm Kageyama Tobio...." introducing himself as he walked through the door to his room for the next year. His head was tilted to the ground as he greeted his roommate. His introduction, halted by a familiar sounding voice that sent shivers down his spine and wrenched at his heart. He looked up to stare at his roommate. Sitting on the bed, with his mop of orange hair glowing in the early morning sun, was the last person Kageyama expected to see......correction, he was the last person he had wanted to see. Stunned he dropped his bags on the ground, the thud the made as they hit the floor echoed around the now silent room, as the two roommates stared at each other in disbelief.

"No way..." they both uttered. Neither of them having seen each other since that day outside of the gym.

......................................

Kageyama had begun to get closer to his old teammates again after that incident, or more it was a case of Yamaguchi deciding that he shouldn't be left alone and much to Tsukishima's disgust he was always dragged along too. He had been pleased of the company, the monotonous sound of Yamaguchi prattling on about anything and everything had been comforting in away. They were wise enough not to mention Hinata's name in his presence, so Kageyama had never heard what he had planned after High School. It wasn't as though, University hadn't been discussed, they had been third years, after all, caught up in the throes of the same exam stress. They had mentioned in passing, that Hinata had been offered scholarships, but one glance at the dark shade Kageyama's face was turning, quickly shut them up and it was never mentioned again. Now he wished he had prodded them as to where Hinata had planned to go, so that he could have avoided that University.....the whole point of moving out of district was to get away from him after all. Away from the memories that lingered around familiar places of their happier times together. It was supposed to be a fresh start. Then again what were the odds......

............................................

 

"Well umm, this is kinda awkward," Hinata mumbled, wringing his hands and trying not to look Kageyama in the eye.

"I'll g-g-go see if I c-c-can change rooms," a shell shocked Kageyama stuttered, desperate to be anywhere but right here. His face becoming white as his hands shook by his sides.

"N-no d-don't," as Hinata reached out to stop him, before hurriedly pulling his hand away, his faced looked desperate....just briefly, Kageyama noticed while feeling confused as to why Hinata wouldn't want him to leave.

"Why?"

"Well... it would be hard to explain... for starters," he spluttered trying to come up with a plausible reason. "Plus....it wouldn't look good if two teammates won't even share a room...together," hoping that was a credible reason. "You are playing volleyball again...right?"

Kageyama, sighed, for once the idiot was actually making sense. It would look odd if teammates refused to get on, before they had even practiced together.

"Yes, I'm playing volleyball again....I got the all clear a few weeks ago," unable to hid the excitement he felt about playing once more. The prospect of playing alongside Hinata again, in of itself was exciting, despite their past. "I just have to be careful of quick attacks, for a while," he mumbled.

"I'm glad," came the quiet whisper from Hinata. So quiet that Kageyama, wasn't sure if he had actually heard it or not.

Hinata quickly ushered him into the room, and began explaining how everything worked in the dorms and how the space in their room was to be allocated. Hinata was quick to point out the top bunk was his, and that Kageyama would have the bottom one, stating that 'he was always on top.' Kageyama shook his head while thinking 'surprise, surprise,' at his announcement, despite being glad that he wouldn't have to squeeze his larger frame onto the smaller top bunk. 'Cruel sweet torture,' Kageyama thought, as he realised just how close and yet so far away the object of his affections was going to be. No matter how much he had tried to run away, his feelings for Hinata had never changed and now stuck in this small room together, it was going to be painful. Though maybe the distance that had grown between them, might close a little bit, even if it was just to regain at least their lost friendship...maybe. He could at least hope.

He barely listened, as Hinata gave him a run down on the schedules for the communal bathrooms, only snapping back when Hinata mentioned volleyball. Having decided that they shouldn't waste any time in getting him signed up to the Volleyball club, dragging him out of the room to go and meet the captain of their new team. He was a third year, living within the same dorm, and Kageyama was just as eager to meet him as well, relishing the prospect of getting back into the familiar routine of volleyball practice. His excitement was tempered only by the devilish smirk that was on Hinata's face, as they headed for the captain's room, and his reluctance to tell him anything about him....not even his name.

Apprehensively, Kageyama followed Hinata, not knowing what he was going to find when he got there. His gaze was focused solely upon Hinata's back, failing take note of the direction they were heading nor the name that was upon the name plate outside the room, when they finally reached it. A familiar voice wafted through the door, in response to Hinata's knocking and his announcement that he had a new member for the club.

"No way..." as it dawned on him just who the voice belonged to, as the door opened. A quick glance at the name plate beside the door, confirmed that he wasn't seeing things.

"Ah, Kageyama...you've finally arrived," a not so surprised voice chuckled. "...as your captain..."

"Tooru ya idiot," as a hand whacked him from behind. "You are not the captain, I am." As his hand reached out to shake Kageyama's. "Glad to have you on our side Kageyama. I'm..."

"I know...you're Iwaizumi, from Aoba Johsai," Kageyama exclaimed. No wonder Hinata had been smirking the whole way here.

"Glad you remember me. Volleyball practice is twice a day until lectures start....7am and 5pm....look forward to seeing you there."

"Y-y-yes," was all that he could muster in reply.

"Good..." as Iwaizumi turned his attention back to Oikawa. "....and you Tooru, pull another stunt like that and I'll give all your games to Kageyama..." as he closed the door behind him.

"Did you know...that they were here, before coming?" a stunned Kageyama asked.

"Yes....but it wasn't my reason for coming here. I wanted to ...ah never mind," Hinata said changing his mind about what he was going to say. "It was a last minute decision to come here." He then whispered under his breath, "I came here for you...Bakayama," before sprinting back to their room, leaving Kageyama to feel that he had missed out on something vital.


	11. Chapter 11

It took longer than expected, to get back to his room that he shared with Hinata. He had gotten a little lost along the way. The unfamiliarity of a new space, its walls and floors all in similar shades of green, and the doors that all looked the same. He could remember the number of his room, but was pretty sure the route he was took was the most roundabout one possible.

"I should have paid more attention to where I was going," he muttered regretting staring at Hinata's back the whole way, rather than memorising the route. He couldn't really remember much of his walk back to his room, his mind too filled with what Hinata might have muttered before bounding away, and how he was going to survive sharing a room with him. He thinks he spoke to a few of the fellow students living in the dorms, but it was more of an automatic response to being spoken to, rather than a deliberate action, their faces just blurring into one.

Hinata wasn't in the room they shared, when he finally managed to make it back, only leaving Kageyama a note to say that he had gone to have a shower. He was somewhat relieved, that Hinata wasn't there when he returned as it would give him more time to think, to process all the things had happened in just the space of a few short hours, without Hinata's presence muddling up his emotions even further. Collapsing on to his bed, staring up at the bunk above his, where Hinata would be sleeping every night. He covered his face with his hands, as he thought of the cruel sweet torture that awaited him, 'so close, but can't touch' as the tears crept down his face. His chest ached, while his mind tried to offer hope, that maybe they could at least be friends again.....maybe.

....................................

A slowly, Kageyama moved off the bed realising that he should really go and have something to eat as his stomach began to grumble, pretty sure that he at least remembered how to get to the dining room. Reaching for the door, it suddenly burst open as Hinata came barrelling through it, crashing into Kageyama's chest. He could smell the familiar scent of Hinata's still damp hair, a scent that flooded him with memories and sent stabbing pangs to his chest. He caught him before he fell, his hands moving on instinct before his brain could even process what was happening. He quickly let go, realising that Hinata was wearing only a pair of baggy sweats and a towel that was drapped over his shoulder, drawing Kageyama's eyes down the lines of his well-toned chest. The hand that caught Hinata, could the smoothness of his skin, the firmness of his muscles, burning with the heat of Hinata's skin as it let go. Kageyama's face blushed at the beautiful sight in front of him. Scowling at Hinata, to hide how desperate he was to touch, to pull him in tight and feel his skin against his own, as is eyes continued to drink in the wondrous sight that they hadn't seen for a while.

"G-get some clothes on, ya i-idiot!" he grumbled, while still sneaking glances at him, hoping that Hinata wouldn't notice and that his own body wouldn't betray his feelings.

"Whatever, Bakayama.... It's too hot," smirked Hinata, enjoying the obvious discomfort that Kageyama was feeling. He could see the scowl on his face as he tried to hide the tinge of pink that was threatening to creep over it. The glances that he was trying to unsuccessfully hide, Hinata could feel their heat, their lust as they swept over him.

"Well, I suppose i-i-idiots don't catch colds," Kageyama muttered, trying to keep the anger that was threatening to boil over under control. He was not amused that Hinata seemed to be taking delight in his discomfort, feeling that his actions were deliberate and calculated. It was like he was trampling all over the feelings that Kageyama still had for him and all the feelings that they had shared, as if they had been nothing. Kageyama began to doubt everything that they had shared in the past, 'what did he really think of me, back then?' Walking out the door into the pale green of the hallway, he no longer had any desire for food, but he didn't feel like staying in his room either, it was too painful, too cruel.

'Can I really do this?' he thought. 'Can I really handle being in a room with him, running into situations like this again and again?' He sighed, knowing it wasn't going to be easy. "Maybe I should just request a room change, after all," as he entered the dining room, his stomach rumbling as his hunger slowly returned.


	12. Chapter 12

Kageyama crawled out of bed, still half asleep as he noted that he only had an hour to get ready for practice.....his first practice with not only a new team, but the first time since he had injured himself. Scratching his head, he wondered just what he would be able to find to eat at this time of the morning, regretting not having bought something yesterday to have ready. Glancing up at the bunk above his, he could see that Hinata had already gone.

"Geez...Thanks...idiot! You could have woken me..." he began to grumble, when the door to their room opened and an energetic Hinata bounced through it.

"Good, you're up," he said in a voice that was way to cheery for 6am in the morning, as he held out a couple of pieces of fruit and carton of milk towards Kageyama. "Here...the kitchen isn't really open for breakfast yet, but we can always get fruit," he informed. "Oh...and I remembered you like...milk," he mumbled quietly...almost too quietly.

"Ah, thanks," Kageyama muttered, the awkwardness of the situation was made much worse by the slow moving blush that was threatening to appear on his face. He was thankful that the room was still shrouded in the grey light of the early morning, neither of them having bothered to turn on the lights.

"Get a move on, Kageyama! Can't keep the rest of the team waiting, we all head down to the gym together"

"Give me five...no...ten minutes," as Kageyama fumbled about in the pale light to find where he stowed his training gear when he had unpacked yesterday.

Hinata stood there, patiently waiting, observing Kageyama as he clumsy made his way around the room, rushing to get ready, before Kageyama realised that he was still there.

"Umm...can you leave...?" Kageyama curtly requested, feeling suddenly uncomfortable having Hinata still in the room while he changed.

"Why? It's not like its nothing I haven't seen before..." he retorted, amused at Kageyama's request. He regretted it as soon as he noticed that Kageyama was glowering at him. "Fine...I'll wait outside," as he reluctantly left the room and stood in the hallway.

Kageyama breathed a sigh of relief, when he heard the click of the door. He knew his actions seemed odd, prudish even, but he just didn't feel comfortable changing in front of Hinata. Sure they were both guys, but they had also dated and now they were sharing a room...it just didn't feel right, and he didn't really care what others, not even Hinata, thought about it.

"Come on...hurry it up!

"Ah shut it...idiot, if you had woken me earlier, you wouldn't have to wait," exclaimed in hushed tones, realising that not everyone in the dorm was up or as chipper in the morning as Hinata, as he left the room.

"Next time I'll wake you with...a kiss," Hinata teased, turning to sprint ahead of Kageyama towards the entrance of the dorm where the rest of team awaited. Kageyama was tempted to chase after him, to race him just like always, but his mind had gotten stuck on the words that he had just heard. They had stirred up his emotions all over again, and he couldn't tell if Hinata was serious or just being unwittingly cruel in his teasing. 'It would be a nice way to start the day,' flashed through Kageyama's head, before he shook it, hoping to dispel such thoughts, as it would only hurt to even consider it. Reaching the front doors of the dorm, he could see the rest of the team waiting outside, stretching and as he went out to join them, he hoped that practice would help distract his mind from over thinking all the things that Hinata had said and done since he had arrived.

........................

"Just take it easy, Kageyama," came a voice from beside him. "No one is expecting you to be in top form...yet."

"Thanks...but it doesn't make it any less frustrating," Kageyama replied to Oikawa, who had slowed done to run alongside his seriously unfit self. Even with a slower moving Oikawa, Kageyama was struggling to keep up, while the rest of the team had quickly moved ahead, leaving him straggling behind. Talking and running at the same time made it even worse, as his lungs screamed out for more air as he puffed and panted along. His muscles burned with pain, complaining about the work they were being made to do after so long.

"Don't worry," Oikawa laughed, patting his former middle school teammate on the back. "We'll get you fighting fit again...very quickly."

Oikawa continued to jog alongside him, until they reached the gym where practice was to be held, arriving a good five minutes after everyone else. He was rueing just how out of shape he was, as he gasped for breath while his legs felt like jelly and he was unsure if he could remain standing on them for much longer. He puffed his replies to the questions that Iwaizumi was now asking, hoping that he could be understood. Everything ached, and he dreaded to think how he was going to be able to do this all again tonight, let alone tomorrow morning. He could see into the gym, as he stood there listening to Iwaizumi talk, as his breathing began to become more normal, less ragged. The rest of the team were already practising, as the familiar sound of the thumps of the volleyball hitting the court as it was spiked, echoed in Kageyama's ears. He was itching to get in there, to touch that ball setting it up high and watch has it was spiked through the blockers in front of the net. A wry smile crossed his face, as he watched Hinata jump high, smiling, as he almost flew towards the ball to spike it over the net. It was a sight that Kageyama had missed and despite everything that had happened he still wanted to be the one to send Hinata flying like that. Pangs of jealousy washed over him, as stared at the person setting for Hinata with envy in his eyes and on instinct he began to move towards the court, only to be stopped by a strong hand that grabbed at his shirt.

"Oi, Kageyama," came the firm voice that spoke along with the forceful grip. "I know what you are thinking...but it's not happening...not yet," Oikawa told him, recognising the hunger in the setter's eyes, a hunger that he too knew so well. "First we need to ease your shoulder back into it...slowly," gripping Kageyama's arm just a little bit tighter, till he got the necessary response. Once he realised that Kageyama wasn't going to do anything reckless, he released his grip.

"Yeah..." he replied realising the sense in Oikawa's words, but still he wasn't really listening. His gaze was still firmly fixed on Hinata, watching as he flew through the air time and time again, chasing the balls that were put up for him to spike. "I'll go...do some...stretches...ah first," running his hand through his hair, slowly moving towards a space at the back of the gym, his eyes still following Hinata, mesmerised. 'Damn that boy!' he thought has he moved, 'I really do still love him.' He continued to sneak glances at Hinata, watching him fly, wishing he was the one sending him flying towards the net, while he did stretches and began some simple drills under the watchful eye of Oikawa, who wasn't missing anything.

...........................

The walk back from the gym to the dorms was more sedate, with exhausted team members not capable of anything more energetic than that....except for Hinata of course. He was bouncing allowing just as energetically has he had before practice, looking for someone to race, but they all waved him off wondering where his energy came from. Kageyama cursed under his breath, as he watched him, he too had forgotten just how limitless Hinata's energy levels were and bemoaned the fact that his no longer matched, wishing that he could race the idiot once more.

Bouncing around his exhausted teammates, Hinata was dismayed that no one was willing to race him back to the dorms, so instead turned his focus to Kageyama, who was moving slowly.

"So...when can you play as setter...again?"

"Hmm...not for a couple of weeks at least...during practice."

"Hmm..."

"I need to get fit first....idiot,"

"I'll look forward to it then," Hinata smiled, satisfied with the answer he was given before bouncing away to annoy someone else.

Kageyama was happy at the normality of the brief conversation, he really didn't know how long he could bury his feelings to maintain the happy façade he wore. He was little glad when Hinata bounded away, leaving him with his thoughts...and the pain in his chest. All he wanted to do was get back to the dorm, have a shower and curl up in his bed and sleep. To try and recover the hours he had lost last night, as he had stared up the bunk above his where Hinata slept, wondering whether he was being punished. It was because everything at home had reminded him of Hinata that he had chosen to go and study as far away as he could, in the hope that he could move on, start a fresh...and he couldn't even do that, now. He desperately held back the tears that threatened to drip down his face, hoping that no one would notice them.

....................................

As he limped back to the dorm, he silently hoped that Hinata wouldn't be in the room. He didn't even think to knock, as he entered...why, would he, it was his room too. His gaze was slow to focus, as his thoughts were elsewhere and so he got quite a surprise when he heard Hinata's voice. Embarrassment soon followed as he realised that Hinata was in a state of undress, appearing to be wearing nothing more than a towel around his waist.

"I-i-idiot, hurry up and put some clothes on!" he stuttered, his mind all flustered. Torn between the desire to look, to gaze his eyes across the bareness of his body and the need to look away, embarrassed by the thoughts of what he wanted to do. He still thought Hinata's body was very beautiful, if anything it had become more so, as the muscles on his chest and abdomen had become more defined. Kageyama kept his hands clenched firmly by his side, resisting the urge to reach out and touch. He would have loved nothing more to have dragged his fingers along those well-defined lines of his muscles, especially those of his back, raking along it until streaks of red appeared, saying to everyone who saw them He's mine!. The desire was overwhelming, as he stood there eyes now squeezed tight, obviously blushing, hoping that he would hurry and put some clothes.

Hinata just shrugged his shoulders, not particularly caring if Kageyama was there or not. He could see that the effect it was having upon his ex-boyfriend, but instead of making get dressed faster, he continued to take his time.

"Do you like what you see?" he teased, watching as Kageyama hurriedly collected up his things for a shower and stormed out of the room. As he left collapsed onto the bed, grabbing a pillow next to him and hugging it tightly. A smile that he had desperately held back as he had watched the flustered Kageyama before, now broke out across his face. A familiar smell drifted towards him, sending shivers down his spine, quickly realising that he was lying on top of Kageyama's bed, and that it was Kageyama's pillow that he was hugging tightly. 'Shit,' he thought. 'I can't let Kageyama find me here,' as he committed the scent to his memory once more, a smell that he had very much missed. He too was desperately hoping that they could recover from the mistakes of the past....and start again.


	13. Chapter 13

For the last few mornings Kageyama had woken from the same dream. He dreamt of soft lips that would gently press against his, almost nervously at first. They felt so familiar, a taste of a past memory that seemed to haunt him, leaving him wanting more when he awoke. At first he had been devastated, thinking it was Hinata playing a cruel joke, an understandable assumption after the comment he had made the other day. It had felt so real, that he was sure, almost certain that it was Hinata's lips that he was feeling, as they pressed against his own, yet when he awoke, Hinata was always gone and his bed cold.

It happened every morning that they had volleyball practice, at first, but now that lectures had started, the dreams had continued, spreading to everyday. The kisses in his dream, became longer, more intense, as the person who he could not see, became more confident in their actions. In his dreams, Kageyama always wanted more, begged for more. He asked for more than just a kiss, reaching out in his dream to hold them closer, but it always at that point that the dream, would fade away, leaving Kageyama drenched in sweat as he woke up, the sensation of those lips lingering upon his own. He had decided that the dreams were just a reflection of his frustration, of his unrequited love and lust for Hinata, who lay so near and yet so far away. The intensity of the kisses continued to increase, no longer gentle, but now a kiss that burned with hunger and desire, as the sensation of his tongue entwining with another, began to fill his mind. He could taste it, the sweetness of their tongue....it felt so real. No longer was he just waking dripping in sweat...and he feared that the moans he heard himself make, were not just in his dreams, glad that Hinata was never around when he awoke, too scared to look him in the eye, as all the desire he felt for him poured into his dreams.. Kageyama's heart began to break once more, as he realised just how dangerous and awkward the situation was becoming. Tears would fall from his eyes when ever woke, desperately wanting to find that his dream was real. He knew he could no longer stay in this room, the room he shared with Hinata.

........................

Hinata had only jokingly said that he would wake Kageyama with a kiss, not even sure that he had heard the words Hinata had thrown at him in jest. He was always the first one to wake up each morning, and amused himself by watching the peaceful face that Kageyama had when he slept, a face that was relaxed and calm not furrowed in anger or in frustration. When he was asleep, lying peaceful there on the bed, it was easy to forget the fight they had. The fight that had driven them so far from each other's arms. Hinata had always loved to wake up and just stare at Kageyama's face, in the past on those rare occasions that they were able to spend the night curled up next to each other and rooming together had given him the chance to do it again...to stare at the face he had very much missed.

At first he had been happy just to stare, to watch, observing the little twitches and movements Kageyama would make while he slept. The more watched, the more he wanted. He wanted to reach out brush the stray hairs that lay across his face, back behind his ears; he wanted to stroke his hand across his cheeks and feel his skin beneath his fingertips, but more than anything, he wanted to kiss those lips that lay temptingly in front of him. Finally the temptation became too much, and before he could register what he was doing, he had impulsively kissed Kageyama, upon those lips he so desired. Realising what he had done, he quickly left the room, mortified, praying that Kageyama hadn't awoken, didn't realise what he had just done. What mortified him more, was that he wanted to do it again, he needed to feel those lips that he loved, upon his own once more.

He slid down the wall to the floor, in the hallway outside their room, his face painted in the colour red, as he tried to calm himself down. He was in shock at what he had done, at what he still wanted to do. He could here movements begin to come from their room, the creaking of the bed and the shuffling of feet, as Kageyama woke, causing Hinata to remember what he had just done, all over again. Feelings of shame washed over his already flustered face, as he tried to decide whether he wanted to laugh, to scream, or to...cry. Waiting a few more minutes, when he was sure that he was once again calm, he slowly entered the room, trying to maintain the appearance that he hadn't been there for a while. He breathed a sigh of relief when Kageyama didn't mention anything...anything at all, despite the obvious perplexed look upon his face...and Hinata wasn't asking. He promised to himself that he wouldn't do it again....

...yet he couldn't help himself, the routine of watching Kageyama while he slept, would remind of the feel, the taste of his lips, and he would do it again and again. Each time he did it the kisses became longer, more insistent and he would lose himself to the dream in Kageyama's head. He had missed these lips, missed the kisses they gave him and had to stop himself from wanting more, doing more...even when the sleeping Kageyama begged for it out loud....but it wasn't him who he was begging, it was the person he was kissing in the dreams that Hinata had become.

He always ran away just before Kageyama awoke, or when he begged for more. Each time he did it, Hinata could feel his heart break, as he shattered it with his own hands, knowing that if Kageyama ever found out, ever realised what he had been doing, he would be hated. He was a coward, a pervert. This wasn't right, it wasn't real, no matter how much he wanted it to be.


	14. Chapter 14

Kageyama hurried to the showers after an evening practice, hoping that they would still be mostly empty. At this time of the night most of the residents in the dorm were still eating in the dining room or caught up with their own club activities, which allowed him to bathe in relative peace and quiet...just how he liked it.

It had been another night of arriving back from practice, to find Hinata already sauntering round the room in a state of undress, as he had been doing for the last few weeks. Kageyama was almost at his limit, with how much of this behaviour he could take anymore, and he could no longer brush it off as being 'just bad timing' and started to believe it was a deliberate ploy by Hinata to drive him crazy. Was Hinata aware of the feelings that he still felt for him? Did he think it was fun to taunt him every day, with the sight of a body that he would sorely love to hold once more? It was so painful, so heart breaking to watch, that Kageyama was determined to change rooms, to leave the brazen antics of Hinata behind, before it destroyed him for good.

...................

Standing under the water, as it streamed from the shower head, Kageyama allowed the tears that he had been desperately holding back, to fall. He was thankful that he was the only one here, so no one could see him this way....no one could watch as his heart broke over and over again. 'Did I really mean nothing to him in the end?' he thought, as waves of despair crashed over him, as he wondered whether these feelings that he still harboured for Hinata, would ever go away. Were the worth holding on to, when they caused him so much pain.

"Maybe I should go and talk to Iwaizumi..." he muttered.

"Talk to Iwaizumi about what?" cam a voice suddenly behind him, startling Kageyama. "You know, you can talk to me, too."

Kageyama turned in the direction of the voice, to see that Oikawa was now standing in front of the showers.

"Well...I...suppose..." Kageyama began, not really sure if Oikawa ws really the right person to talk to, but then he really needed to talk to someone, anyone. "Well...I'm having a few problems with...Hinata," he said, unsure of how to explain it.

"You mean with your...ex?" Oikawa replied, quickly understanding the situation. "Daichi and Suga...they...ah...told us about you two," scratching his head, while Kageyama looked dumbfounded. "We...thought putting the two of you in the same room...might help get things sorted," explaining it as if it was only natural to put two people into the same room, after they had spectacularly broken up.

"You guys thought...what?" Kageyama spluttered in disbelief at the explanation that he was given. Realising that all the issues and problems he was having rooming with Hinata, could be laid squarely at the feet of people he thought he could trust.

"Well it's bloody awkward and.....I hate it! I hate him ....I don't even want to see him!" Kageyama fumed, words tumbling out of his mouth that were instantly regretted. Out the corner of his eye, he could see a flash of orange, run from the doorway, Hinata had heard everything.

"I'll talk to Iwaizumi, to see if he can arrange a room change....but he'll probably say no....but considering you just put your foot in it...." Shaking his head, wishing that he didn't really have to deal with all of this, especially now that it was turning into a big mess, as he too had seen the flash of orange as it disappeared into the hallway.

Kageyama sighed, nodding his head in thanks. He hadn't meant for those words to slip out in that way. They just fell of his tongue when he learned just how much everyone was meddling in his life, in Hinata's. If he could take them back he would, but then that didn't work last time either. He finished his shower quickly before slowly walking back to his room, dreading what he would find. 'Would Hinata be there?' he thought, cursing under his breath at his own stupidity. History was repeating itself all over again, as he resisted the urge to punch the wall as he walked by. He couldn't avoid returning to the room, and as he carefully walked through the door, calling to Hinata, he breathed a sigh of relief to find that he was not in the room. The relief was followed by a sinking feeling, joined by the dull ache of his chest as he collapsed on to his bed. He gazed at the bed above his wanting to cry, but the tears would not come. 'This time, it might be beyond repair.'

He needed to speak to someone, anyone as long as they would listen. He grabbed his phone from his desk, intending to text Yamaguchi for some advice, to help him figure out just how he could make things right again. As he picked it up, it buzzed, Yamaguchi's name flashing on the screen, causing Kageyama to laugh sadly at the timing.

*what the fck did you do now?

The message read. It may have been Yamaguchi's phone....but that was definitely Tsukishima speaking. He could even imagine the angry scowl that would have been on his face when he sent it. Kageyama pondered at how fast news had travelled as he texted back.

**putting my foot in it....like normal.

*no shit!

**It's bloody easy to do...we share a room.

*Oh...well that would be...awkward

**yeah, you don't say....It's painful...

Messages flew back and forth until Kageyama's stomach began to grumble loudly, protesting at the lack of dinner that it had been given. In the aftermath of everything that had happened, he had forgotten to go and eat. Texting Tsukishima/Yamaguchi, had made him feel a little better, as they tried to reassure him that Hinata would realise that he didn't hate him, but the reminded that he couldn't let things stay the way it was for too long. He knew he had to apologise, to say sorry, but first he needed to find Hinata.

...................

Realising that he really should eat, Kageyama reluctantly began to move towards the door, with the intention to head to the dining room, hoping that there would still be food available. His plans, even though reluctant ones, were interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Kageyama....It's Iwaizumi."

"....and Oikawa," came the voices from the other side.

"Can we talk, now?" They both asked. Their voices were soft and quiet, but were dripping with concern and frustration.

Sighing, Kageyama knew he wasn't going to get any food soon. Getting this out of the way, was definitely a higher priority than his rumbling stomach.

"Come in," he shouted, sitting back down on his bed, not bothering to open the door for them.

They both had worried looks upon their faces, as they entered his room and made their annoyance at having to come and sort his and Hinata's problems obvious with their body language. 'I don't know what they are so grumpy about.....they had a hand in this mess too,' Kageyama thought, refusing to be the only one to take the blame. They sat down on the chairs that were in front of Kageyama, and just stared quietly for a bit. No one seemed to know what to say or do next. It was Kageyama, who finally broke the silence, asking a question that had been worrying him for a while.

"H-Have you seen...Hinata?" he questioned them, resting his head in his hands, as he tried not to look at them as he asked.

"Yeah, we have..." Oikawa said with a pouting look on his face. "He's holed up in our room, till we kick him out."

"Can't you just apologise..." a weary sounding Iwazuni asked. "It's obvious you didn't mean what you said....right?"

"...last time I apologised...it didn't do much good," he said with a strained laugh, trying to hide his own frustrations and sadness at everything that had happened. "He wouldn't want to see me..."

"True...he has said that. Which, brings us to the next...thing," Iwaizumi paused, as if to carefully consider his wording, before he spoke.

"Just spit out...don't sugar coat it," Oikawa blurted out, wanting to get this over and done with quickly. All it managed to do was earn him a harsh glare from Iwaizumi, quickly shutting him up.

"Fine...Kageyama, I would prefer it if you didn't come to practice for a while."

Kageyama's heart sunk. It was like hearing can't play from the doctor all over again.

"...instead I want you to concentrate on improving your fitness. Go running or something...," Iwaizumi stopped, noticing the tension that was building in Kageyama's shoulders, and the darkness of the scowl that was forming on his face. "...it's not forever, just until either you and Hinata sort your shit out...or can at least tolerate each other enough to function as a team," he mumbled. "...I mean Hinata's on a sports scholarship and....you aren't. He can't afford to skip practice..." he managed to spit out, wishing that he really didn't have to deal with this. Surely dealing with lovers...former lovers quarrels was not part of his duty as captain. This whole situation was turning into one giant headache, one that he couldn't escape from because whether he liked to admit it or not...he was just as much to blame for the current situation. 'How did I ever let Daichi and Sugawara, talk me into making these two share a room?' he thought. Getting up to leave the room, he uttered one last thing to Kageyama. "...I'm sorry, but neither of you are changing rooms..."

Kageyama just sat on the bed, staring blankly into space, as he tried to comprehend everything they had just said. No training with the team, No changing rooms. He knew he needed to apologise, he hadn't needed them to tell him that, but it was a question of how he could he achieve it, when Hinata wouldn't want to see him. Even after quickly getting food, and the time now getting late, Hinata was still yet to return to their room, no doubt he was just as upset at how the situation was playing out. Tine continued to tick by, as Kageyama just lay on his bed awake, waiting for Hinata to return, doubts began to surface in his mind if he would return at all. Slowly Kageyama drifted off to sleep, wet patches on his pillow where his tears had landed as they silently slid down his face.


	15. Chapter 15

Waking the next morning, Kageyama was not surprised to see that Hinata ws not in the room, but was relieved that he had at least returned to sleep, judging by the state of his bed. It was a routine that was to occur for several weeks, frustrating Kageyama immensely. He still wished to apologise, to set things right, but he was beginning to think that everything was beyond repair, as the number of days, weeks that he didn’t see Hinata increased. He was still unable to attend full practices, unless Hinata wasn’t going to be there, and spent a lot of time alone with his thoughts while he ran. He wasn’t always alone, sometimes he would be joined by Oikawa, who was probably under instruction to keep an eye on his fellow setter. In some ways not attending was fortunate, not because he didn’t want to see Hinata, but the lack of sleep was starting to impair his ability to play when he did attend practice, earning him disapproving looks from Oikawa every time he stuffed up. Even the reoccurring dreams that he had been having, no longer plagued his early mornings, and a part of him missed them. ‘Maybe my mind knows it’s time to give up…to move on’ he thought to himself, and yet the ache of his heart, at the mere thought of never being able to see or hold Hinata again, would not go away. He was getting desperate.

With the ability to apologise to Hinata, face to face, taken away from him, through Hinata’s continued avoidance of him, Kageyama turned to the only option left to him - pen and paper. It would be his final attempt to set things right once and for all between them over the last few months. A chance to pour all the feelings that he had kept tightly inside of him, out on to a flimsy piece of paper in the hope that Hinata would read it, would accept it. If Hinata didn’t accept it….then he would just have to give up once and for all, accept that it really was over. He would have to think seriously about whether he could continue to attend college here, especially if he wanted to play volleyball, which he did, as the only way to leave this room, would be to stop playing. It wouldn’t be fair on either of them, for things to continue in the way they were now, and as Kageyama didn’t have a sports scholarship, he would have to be the one to stop playing or to move away…to leave…to say goodbye.

His hand trembled, as he reached into the drawer at his desk, pulling out sheets of paper and a pen, to write his heartfelt apology note. It was hard. His chest ached with every word he wrote, while the tears that filled his eyes, but did not yet fall, made his vison blurry. He wasn’t someone who readily opened his heart and bared his feelings, preferring to keep them tucked up tightly in the safety of his heart, but even there they were no longer safe. He went through several sheets of paper, as the rubbish bin could testify to, as it overflowed with scrunched up balls of discarded attempts, before he was finally satisfied.

To Shouyou

I’m sorry, that once again I have hurt you with my words.  
I never meant them, and I should never have said them.   
I was angry, but not at you. I was angry at how everyone felt  
they needed to meddle in our love life. I know it is not an excuse  
for uttering them.

I never mean to hurt you. I never mean to make you cry, and yet  
I always do.

I’m sorry. I am so very sorry.  
Love Bakayama

Kageyama read over the note several times, trying not to smudge his writing with his tears, hoping that it conveyed to Hinata all the feelings that he felt. He still would have preferred to apologise in person, but this would have to suffice. No one could say that he hadn’t tried, that he hadn’t made attempts to apologise. How Hinata reacted to it…well he would just have to wait and see. 

Glancing round the room, he tried to work out where the best place to leave it would be, in their small room. It had to be somewhere that he could find it, see it quickly and would not be easily overlooked. Nowhere looked perfect…except…Hinata’s bed, as he glanced up at the top bunk. Quickly he clambered up, reaching across the bed towards Hinata’s pillow, resisting the urge to lie down and just absorb the scent of Hinata that wafted towards him with every movement he made. Hesitatingly, he placed the note on his pillow, praying that he would find it there tonight, whatever time it was when he returned to sleep. Satisfied, despite the doubts that lingered in his mind, that this was the best course of action, the best place to put it, he clambered back down.

Grabbing his own pillow, hugging it tight as he curled up under his blankets, in the safety of his own bed, hoping that sleep would come soon. He was eager and nervous for morning to come, worried about how his letter would be received. He hoped that Hinata would see it for the sincere heartfelt apology that it was, and yet the doubts the continued to plague his thoughts, told him otherwise. As he slowly drifted off to sleep, the room was silent except for the sound of tears that hit the pillow, as the doubts continued to dance through his mind.


	16. Chapter 16

It was after midnight, when Hinata finally slunk back into the room. He stood for ages outside the door, sulking at how Oikawa and Iwaizumi had once again kicked him out of their room, just as they had done every night since then. Calling to Kageyama softly as he walked in the door, checking to make sure that he was already sleep, before breathing a sigh of relief. Creeping over to Kageyama’s bed, he stood there quietly as he silently watched him sleeping, a sad lonely look upon his face. He knew that in avoiding him, he was denying Kageyama the chance to explain, to apologise, but Hinata didn’t know if he wanted to hear it and yet he knew things couldn’t go on like this. Every night he would hang out in Iwaizumi’s room, begging to let them change rooms, to give them some space, but it continued to fall upon deaf ears. He just didn’t know what to do anymore, didn’t know what it was he felt…it was hard.

Siliently he clambered up to his bed, above Kageyama’s, snuggling under his blankets as he rested his head upon his pillow. The crinkling of paper, could be heard and felt under his weary head. Surprised and confused as to why a piece of paper was sitting on his pillow, he hurriedly reached under his pillow where he had just tucked is phone away and switched its torch light on. As he began to examine it, he quickly noticed the familiar scrawl of Kageyama’s hand, a scrawl that he could recognise anywhere having copied notes written by this hand so many times in the past. He sat up even straighter now, as he hesitatingly began to read what was written upon the flimsy piece of paper, or as silently as he could as tears began to run down his face in response to the words so beautifully written there.

It wasn’t a not that begged for forgiveness or made excuses, but was a simple apology. An apology that was written with words that were sincere and heartfelt. One that Hinata knew would have taken Kageyama a long time to write, despite the simplicity and shortness of the message it conveyed. He knew, he understood that Kageyama was not one who readily spoke of his feelings or made apologies. The worry, the stress that he would have felt when writing this, Hinata understood it all, and this made these few words precious to him as he clutched it to his chest, the tears continuing their trek in silence down his face. Snuggling back down in his bed, the note held tightly in his hand while a smile spread uncontrollably across his face, the first time he had felt so happy in a long time. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to be truly happy, and it wasn’t the words I’m sorry that tugged at his heart, setting his chest alight with warmth, but a solitary word, a word that he had missed hearing and needed to hear once more…love. The hope that single word conveyed to Hinata, wiped away all the doubts that still remained in the small corner of his heart, fanning the his true feelings back to life…things could still be fixed.

………………

Kageyama woke up during the night with a start. He didn’t understand why he suddenly woke up, but it was tough trying to convince his body that he really needed to go back to sleep. After tossing and turning for what seemed like hours, he finally gave in and crawled out of his bed, grabbing his phone of the desk to check the time. ‘2am…Argh…it really was too early,’ he thought. ‘Too early to even go for a run.’ Placing his phone back on the desk, he turned to get back into his bed, briefly glancing up at Hinata’s be absentmindedly. He breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing his Hinata’s sleeping form tucked up tightly under the covers, pleased that he had at least returned to their room to sleep. Curious to know whether his note had been found, he glanced around the floor to see if it had been crumpled up and thrown away, but in the grey light of the early morn, he couldn’t see anything that looked like a ball of paper. He crept closer to Hinata’s bed, watching his peaceful sleeping face, wishing he could reach out and touch it, wishing that the smile that was upon his face was because of him. That was when he spotted it, a piece of paper poking out of the blankets, firmly clutched in Hinata’s hand. ‘His smile was because of me’ a relieved Kageyama repeated over and over in his mind as he clambered back into his bed, his mind in a daze. Hugging his pillow tight, to muffle the sounds of glee that he wanted to scream, as a grin appeared on his face too, as his chest ached with hope…hope that things might be looking up, that maybe he still had a chance to rectify all the mistakes they had made…that he had made. His mind was buzzing, as he drifted back off to sleep, hoping that Hinata wouldn’t disappear on him again, when the sun finally rose.

……………..

As the morning sun began to shine into their room, the dreams that had haunted Kageyama in the past returned, except this time it was different. Something had changed within the dreams, as those soft lips he had missed nervously pressed against his, leaving behind a lingering sweetness that was still so familiar. The dream was different, no longer just filled with the taste and feel of the familiar, but he could have sworn that the person hidden in his dreams was calling his name. He could hear it, a sweet voice softly calling to him, repeating his name between every kiss that they left upon his lips.

“Wake up Tobio…” the voice called to him, over and over. A sound that was familiar, a sound that he had missed. He slowly opened his eyes, fearing that the dream that was so real would just be that…a dream.

“I must still be dreaming,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes in disbelief at the sight he saw before him. Kneeling by his bed with a smile upon his face as bright as the sun, was Hinata. A smile that sent shivers down his spine, a smile that he had missed so much…but it couldn’t be real, could it. “I must be dreaming,” trying to close his eyes once more. “It’s too early in the morning,” he grumbled half-heartedly.

“Wake up…Bakayama.” Hinta chirped, leaning into plant another kiss upon his lips. He was going to wake him up, no matter what it took. They had wasted too much time already, with their stupid stubbornness and he wasn’t prepared to lose anymore. Especially not because of a reason like ‘it’s too early in the morning.’

“What time is it…i-idiot,” reaching out to wrap his arms around the person in his dream that looked like Hinata, felt like Hinata. He was still not prepared to admit that this was no longer a dream that this was real. It all seemed to be happening to easily, to smoothly and he was waiting for the catch, for the moment he woke up and Hinata was gone once more.

“It’s 6am.”

“Uggh…what are you doing up so early? Don’t you have a game this afternoon?”

“Hmm..I was going to go for a run,” Hinata replied, though he din’t really want to leave the warmth of the Kageyama’s arms behind, as he rested his head upon his chest and listened to the sound of his heart racing away. “You’re going to come watch the game…aren’t you?”

“Hmm…maybe…?” He really wasn’t sure. It was hard to watch a game when he wasn’t playing, when he wasn’t the one setting the ball for Hinata.

Hinata chuckled, understanding Kageyama’s reluctance to come watch. “I know you don’t like too…” watching as a surprised look passed over Kageyama’s face. “ You don’t think we hadn’t noticed the way you would glare at the second year setter, that one time you visited practice after you were injured.” Kageyama blushed with embarrassment as he thought no one had noticed at the time. “…but I want you to watch me…it wont be long and you’ll be able to play again…to be on the court with me.”

“Ok,” he agreed, as he run his hands through Hinata’s hair, enjoying the feel of its silky strands as it ran through his fingers. He had so missed this. Slowly it began to dawn on him, that this might not be a dream, that Hinata really was here, resting his head upon his chest as Kageyama held on to him tightly. “I’m not dreaming…am I?” voicing his final doubt at the whole situation that was unfolding before him.

“No, you are not dreaming…Bakayama…Now get up and come for a run with me.”

“What? How did it just go, from me thinking this was a dream….to going running with you?” pushing Hinata out of the way so that he could get out of bed, sneaking in a few kisses of his own as he did. 

“I’ll race you!” as Hinata bounced out the door ahead of him, as soon as they were ready to go.

“Oi…no fair,” he laughed, chasing after him.


	17. Chapter 17

Slowly the settled back into a happy routine, split between classes, practices and games. The awkwardness that had once filled their room was gone, the only patch of coldness that remained, was the empty bed of Hinata’s, preferring to keep each other close and would snuggle up together in Kageyama’s bed each night. Their relationship still wasn’t free of the odd argument, but each time they would sort it out quickly, overcoming their stubbornness to speak about whatever was troubling them, neither of them wanted to return to the frosty anguish they had suffered in the past. A cloud of doubt still lingered in the back of their minds, as they clung to each other, afraid that the other might still yet disappear.

Kageyama was still yet to play a game with Hinata, but he was working hard to compete with Oikawa for the position of setter, before earning himself the chance three months after they had gotten back together. Halfway through the second set, of a hard fought game, Oikawa made the switch with Kageyama, putting him onto the court with an ecstatic Hinata. It was his first game since he had been injured, and the look on Oikawa’s face showed that they were expecting something big from him…from him and Hinata, only adding to the nervousness he was feeling about being back on court. 

The relationship was stronger than ever, but this was their first opportunity to play together and doubts began to niggle at his confidence. ‘Would they still be able to do it? Does he still trust my toss?’ rushed through his mind. He didn’t have time to rationalise his thoughts as the ball came his way. As he tried to figure out which of the spikers to set it up for, a familiar voice rang across the court, digging Kageyama out of the black hole he had been sliding into. Just two words that helped him decide instantly.

“Bring it”

Without thinking, moving on instinct alone, he sent the ball flying towards the voice, propelled by the tips of his fingers. He didn’t look to see where the ball went, just praying that the sound of the ball as it hit the ground, was occurring on the correct side of the net, afraid that his toss had not connected with the spiker. Teammates surrounded, patting him on the back shouting Welcome Back, assuring him that it had gone where it should of, that everything was just fine. Niggling doubts still continued to linger in the back of his mind, doubts that his teammates alone could not rid from his head. Doubts that lurked about, until the words he overheard from the oppositions mouths, blew them away, and almost had him on his knees crying,

“Did you see that?”  
“Yeah it was a freaky quick attack…”

“Nah…not just that. Did you see that spikers face when he hit it?”

“No….Why?”

“H-h-he had his…eyes…closed! Who does that? Who spikes the ball with their eyes closed…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished! Hope the ending doesn't seem to rushed :)


End file.
